So lately I’ve been plagued with gum problems because of plaque. My dentist recommended I get an electric toothbrush, as they help remove plaque deposits. Yesterday, after my dentist appointment, I decided this might well be the solution that would help me improve my dental health. So I splurged.

“This is the most fancy model,” the receptionist told me.

“I hope it’s also effective,” I said with a smile. She assured me it was.

And so, I got home with my Oral-B Triumph, not realizing I had just added a very techno-geek gadget to my collection.

First things first: yes, this is a very effective toothbrush. I used it for only a day, and I’m amazed at how clean it leaves my teeth. Most of the reviews on the web agree, having seen a major improvement in dental health after 6 months use. So this makes it a very useful toothbrush to have. But is it fancy also? Hell yeah. This is a toothbrush for nerds.

How nerdy is this toothbrush? It actually has wi-fi. In the manual are instructions for turning off the radio signal for, say, boarding a plane. Ladies and gentlemen, I now possess a toothbrush that is forbidden to use during takeoffs and landings, or around pacemakers.

The wi-fi signal is used to hook to a gizmo called the Smart Guide. This is a wireless, battery-operated device that monitors your brush’s use when in range. It tells you things such as remaining battery power, and brush setting (clean, gentle, massage and some crazy all-out super-cleaning setting). It also tells you if you’re pushing too hard on your teeth with the brush, and, of all things, monitors your time spent brushing to make sure you spend a good 2 mins cleaning your teeth.

And so, unwittingly, I’ve gotten myself the perfect combination of useful tool, and absolutely unnecessary gadget. You know the kind that makes your girlfriend frown, but then you explain that honey, you absolutely need to have a PDA Phone with a videoconference camera, and how did we ever live without one?

Cleaner teeth through feature creep: that’s dental hygiene, the geek way.