Drunk Driving

"I think I know what drunk driving feels like, now."

That's what my friend Ty said as he finished the race, his cheeks still reddened by the cool air of the track and by the rush of adrenaline. It was Saturday night, and we were go-karting.

You see, when newcomers learn about the existence of go-kart tracks in Shanghai, they rarely care. But there is an essential difference between karting in Shanghai and in North America: whereas in North America they have you wear a helmet and warn you against reckless driving... in Shanghai, you get to down a few drinks while you wait in the queue alongside the track, and they couldn't care less if you rammed a pillar head-first at 50 km/h. It's actually one of the big attractions of these karting tracks; there's a complete sense of doing something forbidden by finishing up your beer before going to your next race. To say the administration overlooks this behavior is an understatement: you actually buy your coupons behind the bar, and in one go-kart complex, you get a free drink coupon, which you must use before racing.

It took me a while to get convinced to try it, but before long, I was standing in the queue, as Ty passed along a pitcher of Tsing Tao to the group. I had drunk a lot already, being as we had just arrived from teppanyaki, where Marine kept 'sake bombing' our beers. When the last call came at the restaurant, Marine ordered with aplomb: "We'll have 3 bottles of beer, 3 glasses of plum wine, and 4 bottles of sake." She paused, then added in Chinese, "That's for us 3. I don't know what the others want."

And so, drunk enough to have trouble standing, we raced. It's certainly reckless and it doesn't mean I'd ever do it with a car (I don't have a driver's license: my go-kart training comes from Mario Kart) but it certainly was an experience to remember. Karting (drunk or not) was a rush, and I certainly hope to go again. I lost every race, and loved every second of it.

As I write this on Sunday afternoon, my head hurts slightly. And I can't say whether it's from a hangover or from some random whiplash. Awesome!

Breaking the Animal Crossing Addiction

If you've paid attention to my Currently Playing entry in the Mood Box, you'll have noticed that I've been playing Animal Crossing: Wild World for well over four months. It's helpless: I'm not even touching my regular consoles anymore, so obsessed am I with completing the Museum's fossil collection or catching the elusive coelacanth.

Well, after four months, I have actually spent a day without turning on Animal Crossing. I'm shaking a bit, but holding ok. To compensate, I'm playing Age of Empires on DS, which is, so far, an excellent Turn-Based Strategy game. We'll see how it holds up after a while, but it's good fun so far.

It's a good thing too, because the Grail-like XBOX 360 is on its way to my home right now. I asked a friend to try and pick up one for me during his trip to San Francisco, but it turns out the darn thing is sold out in 16 stores there. Finally, it's my parents who are shipping me one in the next few days.

So look for me on XBOX Live pretty soon. I'll be polishing my skills on Call of Duty 2 and Project Gotham Racing 3. Both games are much less embarrassing to be playing during the development of Splinter Cell Double Agent than that damn Animal Crossing... One more month of play and I'd have the level design team have Sam infiltrate Tom Nook's shop, for God's sake!

西施 Loses Her Innocence

西施, before her slutty days

Although it's freezing cold outside right now, the days were getting noticeably warmer last week... Something that surely didn't go unnoticed, including by 西施's hormonal system.

You see, 西施 (Xi Shi), despite being more than two year-old already, has never been in heat before. Turns out her brush with death two years ago (she had a huge respiratory infection - never trust pet shops in Shanghai) merely slowed down her biological clock. But no longer: Spring was in the air, and 西施 decided to answer the call of nature. Loudly.

Anybody who ever had a female kitten will tell you: there's something both really tragic and really funny in seeing your sweet, innocent cat suddenly turn into a slut screaming for a stray to come and fulfill her carnal desires. For 西施, it felt like a constant struggle to cling to her innocence: she would call, but reluctantly, as if she were trying to hold it all in, and she seemed to think we wanted to punish her when we came close to her. Maybe we did, selfishly: after all, she made us sleep with earplugs for three days, not to mention annoying the neighbors enough that they called security. I let you imagine how loud it needs to be to annoy Shanghainese neighbors.

Her calling stopped Sunday, but it was already too late: the appointment with the vet was made, and I brought her to the clinic this morning, feeling vaguely guilty, and put her in the good hands of James Holder, of Shanghai PAW Veterinary Surgeons.

James and the people at PAW do a great job, and although you can find cheaper vets in Shanghai, I doubt you'll find one better. They take good care of the animals, and James is the kind of straight-shooting, very competent vet. (He reminds me of Dr. Cox from Scrubs, although I have yet to see him ramble at anybody - maybe he does it at the cats and dog when no one's looking.)

If you ever need a vet in Shanghai, I recommend that you talk to them. Their number is 5254-0611, and they have an emergency after-hours number as well: 138-1668-5486. Check out their website for address.

Anyway, 西施 is doing great now, thanks for wondering. She won't be running as much for the next few days, but I'm sure it'll return soon enough. And we'll all sleep better with 西施's carnal desires surgically removed.

I Wish I Was Exagerating

After nearly 3 years in Shanghai, there's a number of things that seemed strange and fantastic at first, to which I have since adapted, to the point that I don't notice them anymore.

There are, however, some things about Shanghai that still irritate me after all these years. My guess is, if at this point they annoy me, they'll probably annoy me forever.

Taxis in the rain

Taxis are useful and cheap ($1.25 USD for a short distance), and as such, they're the transportation of choice for many people in Shanghai. But once in a while, you step outside, and the horror dawns on you: it's raining. And in Shanghai, that means no taxis. None whatsoever. Nada.

Taxis are cheap enough that when there's a minor inconvenience to just walking around (whether it's rain or cold), people just take taxis, which means if you depend on them to get around, you're screwed. But that's not all... Oh no.

You see, in Shanghai, the mere difficulty of finding a taxi is enough to destroy all semblance of love for your fellow human beings. Suddenly, people jostle for taxis, play hypocrites as they try to move ahead of others in the street, run to get to a stopping taxi first... It's Lord of the Flies on the streets of Shanghai, and your only chance of survival is to join the madnes and elbow old ladies in the gut before they catch that precious taxi you and the rest of the mob have been eyeing.

I wish I was exagerating.

Spitting

When I first encountered spitting in Shanghai, I found it absolutely disgusting. Then I figured, It's a cultural barrier, just get over it. Then I tried. And then I tried again. After two years and a half, I have to admit it: I can't get used to it. I hate it with a passion even now.

It happens everywhere, all the time: an otherwise nice-looking person (old man, young man, heck even a young lady) suddenly feels like they need to clear their throat by violently hawking. For some mysterious reason, the louder you do it, the better: if you can wake up the dead and scare stray cats when you clear your throat, then somebody in authority comes out and hands you a spitting trophy.

Once this is done and all foreigners in a one-mile radius are looking at you in disgust, you should bend over a gutter or a garbage can (trust me - never touch a garbage can in Shanghai) and then, as delicately as you can, spit out your phlegm. You wouldn't want to disgust anybody by making spitting noises, now, would you?

The spitting is widespread enough that it even takes place at work. A few employees actually clear their throats really loud, and spit in their personal garbage pail. It's loud enough that it can make me lose my train of thoughts when I'm on the phone, because I worry the guy on the other end will think I'm sharing a cubicle with a pissed-off tiger with bronchitis.

I wish I was exagerating.

Microfabrique Post-Mortem

You might have noticed this website (along with Helene's and the Webzine) have been down for the last 3 days. If you're a Webzine reader in dire need of a fix, fear not... The database is being repaired right now, and everything should be back to normal soon.

What did I do during the downtime? Well, I went to Fabrique, for once. And I'm saddened to report that it sucked. Allow me to rant a little.

The bar is just terrible as a live music venue. For starters, the second floor of the bar is too thin, so that any amount of bass makes the entire floor vibrate. As you can certainly imagine, when you're playing techno of any kind, that's just bad news. The layout itself is pretty bad: for one, the DJ booth is squeezed right next to the bar, meaning that the DJ has a view on the people not giving a shit about his music because they're schmoozing and waiting for drinks.

The crowd itself is another problem. Despite paying a 80 RMB cover charge ($10 USD), the people there obviously came to show off and didn't care about the performance. They care so little, in fact, that at least 4 tables were playing dice, effectively drowning the music.

Finally, the bar staff itself is preposterous. The only way to get a table is to actually commit to spending 1,000 RMB in booze during the night. Helene and I arrived early enough to get a table, but we were kicked off by the manager when somebody shelled out the money for the table we had sat at for an hour.

If anyone from Fabrique is reading this: screw your damn bar. I'll listen to my music at home in the future. It's times like this that I really miss the Montreal music scene...

Minimal Techno... In Shanghai?!

Microfabrique 1, November 25th 2005

Shanghai just got a hell of a lot cooler... And I'm not even talking about the weather!

If you ask me what I miss the most about Montreal (besides family, friends and Faust), I invariably think back on the vibrant and exciting minimal techno scene that has emerged since 2000. Whether it's a cozy electronic show at Casa del Popolo, or the insanely cool performances of Mutek, I dearly miss listening to original and innovative electronic music in Montreal. I miss it so much, in fact, that when I heard about Mutek Beijing last year, I immediately bought a ticket for the Chinese capital and flew over for a weekend.

Now, thanks to Shanghaiist, I have discovered that minimal techno concerts are being held on a semi-regular basis... in Shanghai!

The next event is titled Microfabrique 2, and will take place on Saturday, February 11th, 10 PM, at Fabrique (8 Jian Guo Zhong Lu, near Si Nan Lu - 6415-0070). The special guest of the evening is DJ Matthias Schaffhäuser, from German minimal techno capital Cologne. Also on show will be B6, a local artist, who will perform a live minimal electro house set.

Bring on the microbeats, Shanghai!!